Unconditional Love!

I did feel too uncomfortable until I was about 7years old. My sweaty hands couldn’t give me a chance to be normal. Writing was a nightmare. I’d soak books and teachers would get annoyed and treat me like I had a disability. Hyperhidrosis wasn’t really known back in the day.

Uncomfortable is an understatement. Shaking hands was a nightmare. You remember when they’d ask you to shake your neighbors friend? I couldn’t because my hands were always dripping wet. This would have obviously affected my esteem, but, God blessed me with a superhero in the form a father. This man never made my hyperhidrosis feel like a disability. He always held my hand sweaty as it was. The biggest lesson he unknowingly taught me was, if someone loves you, it won’t matter what weakness you have, they’ll never know it.

Unconditional love is an understatement. Ours is a journey that dates back in nursery. Our love has even grown more over the years. Even if I don’t know anything else, I know he loves me unconditionally. I’ve never doubted his love and care since forever. He has been my bestie, cheerleader and right hand. My go to person. I can go deeper, but, nothing can explain our love.

Lots of love and hugs to my amazing dad. I can’t appreciate him more for loving and raising me to be the woman I’ve become.

Cheers to many years of seeing me wear many hats. Cheers to many years of laughter, love and growth. Cheers to an old age of me affording to spoil you. Cheers to you seeing your cute grandchildren. Unconditional love is rare, but so is our friendship. Happy fathers day from yours truly, Wairimu Wa Chege.

Cheerleader memories

Father’s day week it is. My favourite person will be celebrated all week. I’ll try remember a story each day that will make me celebrate my main cheerleader.

All public holidays celebrations were a must attend in our home. It was always a day for dad and his jewels to hang out. Hardly ever did mum come, but for us, it was mandatory.

I hated these days, because we’d just sit there listening to District commissioners of the time and endless boring speeches to mark the celebrations. They were very important though for my dad, because he was a journalist and mostly on duty during state celebrations.

These days though came with hunger pangs because the speeches would drag to 3:00PM and only then would dad take us for lunch. My dad, being a journalist had to double up as a dad and also be on duty. Back in the day, journalists didn’t have an easy time. We are talking of the typewriter era, no recordings nothing. Being attentive was not optional. Nonetheless, he never tired to go with us to the stadium. We knew we would get pocket money by default, get to meet the big people and eat fries! It was a day of mixed feelings because part of it would be so boring, but, chocolate and fries have never been a bad idea.

This man has sacrificed to make us jewels from when we never thought it meant anything.

Cheers to a great week of great memories.

Things I’d tell my younger self.

It is one of those random evenings, that I am playing scrabble not giving thoughts to anything, then a message pops, “Nimmoh, what would you tell your younger self?”

If you don’t have deep friends who drop you such messages, then who are your friends?lol kidding, but, yes my friend needed 10 or more things I’d tell a younger me.

I drop my scrabble and start wondering, by the way, what would I tell a younger me? I have realized I have a bunch of things that i would tell a younger me. So here they are, what would you tell your younger self?

1.The world owes you nothing!Just do you.

2. The only legit legacy to leave in this world is kindness,so be kind. People don’t give because they have much, they give because they are kind and human.

3. Discipline and Constistency is the bridge between goals and accomplishment, stick to it.

4.Live like you mean it. Invest more time in the things you love.Engage this life with passion and gratitude. None of us know how long our lives may be. Travel, dance in the rain, visit your parents as much as you can, exercise, eat all you’ve wished, just live best you know how. (Sounds incorrect, but, you get the point😉.)

Also, on this, people don’t travel because they have money, they travel because they purpose to.

5. Keep a journal or an album or just something for memories. Just develop the habit of keeping a regular record of what’s important in your life. 

6. Live a story that lasts an eternity. Love yourself more than anything else, everyone can give up on you except yourself.

7.Don’t take a job that sucks the life outof you, no matter how well it pays and don’t stay in a place that drains you mentally. Anywhere, be it a toxic workplace, toxic friendships, toxic parents, toxic relationships. Love yourself.

8. Stay where you’re wanted. Don’t be with people who don’t appreciate your worth. And dont be apologetic for leaving!

9.In the end, everything is going to be OK – Sometimes life can be a struggle and it can feel it’s not going get better soon, but, it gets better.

10. Don’t have any expectations. Your best friend will walk out on you, your closest friends will con you, just drop all your expectations.

11. Take care of your money and it will take care of you! Save more, and still live a little. Take risks too.

12. Find a mentor and create the right network as early as you can. Find someone who epitomizes what you would like to be.Have older more achieved friends and circle

13. Your colleagues are not your friends. In most cases not all but, this is such a huge lesson for me.

14. READ!Read every day. Read everything you can. Don’t just read about things you know about. Read about people, places, things. READ. Read people.

15. Fail a lot. Fail at work, fail at friendships, fail at home, fail at investments, fail at business, fail at sex😂😂 just fail, but, learn. Learn lessons that you will carry to your grave.

16.Spend money on experiences, not things. Things have a shelf life, but, experiences live with us forever.Experience is the teacher of all things.

17.Run your own race Don’t compare yourself with anyone, everyone’s journey is cut out differently. Your friends will start a post grad immediately, your other friends will get married immediately after school while others will get married at 50. Just ensure you’re not stagnant.Grow at your pace and swim in your direction.

18.Have patience. Nothing of value is built in a minute. Plan in decades, think in years, work in months, but, live today. Life is a marathon, not a sprint.

19.Be gentle. Speak to yourself in more loving and encouraging ways. Your inner dialogue is the most powerful voice you hear. Turn down the volume of the critic so the voice of your inner knowing gets louder.

20.No need to think outside the box, because there is no box.

I am staying!

When he said he had a toothache, I was quick to ask, “have you considered painkillers to take you through the night before you go to hospital?”In the beginning, he thought it was Malaria, “we” later moved to a toothache and finally hospital admission.

Tooth extraction happened and guy got a swelling from here to Nigeria. The endless hospital visits started. We officially
started running around everywhere and calling everyone we knew could help. I was a resident in the hospital. Lakini some Introductions happen in the most unexpected way. So his mother and I became baes.

Then Cancer happened, and just like that life happened. And within two months, we were having burial arrangements. This purely shifted lives, like properly. Someone I’d made my ride or die actually picked the “die” and died.

I’d taken unpaid leave for his care, then now he is even no more. So I resigned. I told them they decided to downsize and just like that mourning started. I can be ridiculously secretive, so now I couldn’t start explaining because they just knew him as a random guy.

So I drowned in tears and grief and they asked if we can go drink after we laid him to rest.

I said I really don’t feel like, but, it was sad inside. I was dead! Dead! Why were we drinking? To celebrate what? So he left.. It was such a long year 😪😪😪.

.

I always remember many things in January, this person being in one of them. Randomly,today the conversation of if he or she gets sick came up. They actually leave, so my two friends have been left. Question is, would you stay?

Random evening thoughts.

Sometimes I feel like I m a blank page, others I feel like I’m a thousand page boring book about how to achieve some weird thingy, others I feel like I’m an amazing book of all times, that’s changed the perspectives of people. Well, if you were a book what genre would you be?

Your strength is in your uniqueness. In the battle between the lion and the shark, the terrain will determine the outcome. If the shark gets the lion in water, it will undoubtedly turn the lion into its prey.

It’s not that the lion is weak, in fact the lion is considered king of the jungle, the lion would lose simply because it’s competing in the wrong terrain!

Everyone has been given a terrain of dominance, but instead want to abide in the terrain of conformity!
As I end the year that has been in all the darkest shades, I think of a few things. When I was younger, I thought by now I’d be a writer of my times, travelling for writing, making a living off my live, the pen. Here I am, doing none of that, well, in a totally different field which I have sure excelled in, but I’m not a BIG writer who shakes the world with the pen.

I was sure I would be competing with the best I was also sure I would have my school running, because I’d be teaching writing as a course. I would be changing lives through the pen.

Well, I may focus on what I haven’t become, which adds salt to injury and just delays growth, but what are you doing about it? That’s the question. With time though, I have learnt many things. No dream is unachievable and nothing is too huge in this life. You should always be willing to win, let them stop you.. Let the question be who’s going to stop you.

You may not be where you’d imagined, but do not rush to take opportunities of a lifetime, take lifetime opportunities. It us important however, to remember there is always a process, and trusting the process is the win.

Conformity is appealing because it makes no demand, it’s appealing because it hides weakness in the crowd. It’s appealing because it is easily acceptable and raises no eyebrows. It is however, a breeding ground for mediocrity. It is important to break off from the mediocre world.

Life has taught me many priceless lessons and among them is the need to keep going, don’t stop. This is the answer.

Things may not be working out as you want, but, are you resilient enough? Are you still trying? Are you pulling your weight towards the goal? Well, this narrows down to individuals. The world will judge you, the world will write you off, but remember we were all born to win. No one was born to pay bills and die, you were born to impact.

Wake up and change the world. Happy Birthday to this wonderful, brilliant woman.

Forever 16………..

The only fair thing that ever happened to the universe is a birthday. The poor, rich, the depressed, the overexcited, the petty just everyone has that special day in their lives. It means a lot to some, why it means nothing to others. It is a beautiful thing though to celebrate milestones, be thankful for your steps and growth, just a time to look back and say life is a fucking bitch, but I have pulled through.
When I look back from years of plasticine, to skipping baby class, years of being bullied for my sexy husky voice because i spoke like a boy, years of loving sleep during school days and waking up at wee hours over holidays, years of writing epic compositions in school and bitching about it the entire school term, years of scoring low grades and feeling unachieved, to years of cold months in high school. Years of wearing leg warmers all year long, losing your voice due to the cold and still hacking it, beautiful years were still ahead, of making networks that would last a lifetime, relationships that would turn into lessons, years of realizing your mother was right in all her lectures in your teenage years, years of great days, love and life, years of making and losing some friends, it has truly been a worthwhile journey.

This month is “my celebrate the milestones month” and there is nothing i can do more than the excitement i got. Maybe i could share a few lessons picked along the way and also pass through all my money receiving channels because money makes the world go round 🙂

Wait, what makes me happy? Just a thought, well
 Avocado
 Cake and more cake! Add a little iced tea and we are bffs
 Sad books, a book that triggers emotions and maybe has a life lesson or doesn’t have
 Me time………..Nothing beats this! I just love me and mine and all yes!
 Silly videos and memes run my life….
 Shopping tickles every part of my body, it is orgasmic
 Flavored tea bags aaawweee but not green tea nah!
 Sleep-in moments
 Gifting people and seeing their reactions makes me so happy gives me a reason to smile.
 Travel is life!
 Street smokies with kachumbari, and specific mutura aawwee this is a birthday in itself
 Humanitarian documentaries, speechless
 My phone
 Free food………..who doesn’t like? Like all those promos you know!
 Customized stuff be it towels, cups, water bottles just anything…..
 Men who cry I remember it 45 years later.
 Simple acts of kindness Aaawwee
 Lovely love stories…….Aaaawwwee
All of them in summary is Me, Myself and I!
Sometimes i look at things i like and it is the weirdest list but you do not have to like what everyone does. Like i watched a full series alone after adulting but I am still alive you know!
Life though has taught me a few things just a few, not limited to this but here we go;
 Being thankful is free, always be!
 We live for simple acts of kindness, be kind again, it is free!
 Life is an unending foray into the unknown, everything changes, people circumstances and situations.
 Confidence is an art.
 It is okay not to have a girl gang, or a clique. You are normal.
 Heartbreaks break you and make you, but such is life.
 Love is a gift and not an investment.
 All that matters in life is what you made people feel, and what you made yourself feel.
 It is okay not to love what everyone thinks is cool.
 If it doesn’t make you feel like your favorite food, it’s not worth it.
It’s only fair to die with no f*cks left, just live once and live well

What are the lessons you’ve learnt maybe? Someone, anyone?

Of Life and happenings..

When you wake up, a million things go through your mind.The cliche phrase is wake up with and for a purpose and such like things, but sometimes we just wake up and realize “ooohh i made it to Friday!”You know!Such is life. Sometimes you wake up thinking of people who forgot you exist, others you’ll wake up wondering why you are not in the rich gang list.

There are days you wake up to the realization that the biggest you are known is around the walls of your company, lol!Yes, that’s actually a reality.
Sometimes you wake up wondering who will cry when you die?Well, that one shelf it, it doesn’t really matter.You won’t even know if they are fighting over the fifteen thousands that you left in your account before securing a spot for you in the mogue, so relax.If noone cries, that is fine.It’s their loss, you’ll be breathless, right?
Sometimes, when you look at how death is snatching people unexpectedly, you wake up and write such a meaningless article, wondering how would my friends eulogize me?You even think of setting up your prefuneral and see who’ll turn up and what they’d say you know.You know, noone will write the truth like, “she was greedy, a narcissist, selfish pauper or something.Noone will be honest in any eulogy and say, “we’ll actually forget you before we bury you, or remember you owe me five hundred shillings and the luminous dress you borrowed for your turn ups, you know?”
So they point is, when you wake up, just don’t waste your time thinking of people who will not even be honest in your eulogy.Live and let live!

See you soon..
PS:I am not dying any soon don’t panic!

When dawn knocks…

Sometimes it is dark in the morning,
Sometimes we feel worthless,
Rejection makes us think we are losers,
It makes us blame ourselves for things we didn’t do,
We cry over spilt milk,
We tie ourselves in handcuffs,
We do those unnecessary things for the wrong reasons,
And for the wrong people.

Life is meant to be beautiful,
That does not mean it will always be rosy,
But we have to learn to enjoy the good days as they come,
The bad says as they are.
We are just supposed to be strong enough to face the mountains,
Strong enough to be different,
Strong enough to stand up for ourselves,
Because when it rains it pours.

We should only learn to handle the bad days in the right ways……

A walk in the dark..

The skeletons can’t be hidden too much,
That’s why there is day and night,
That things done in darkness will be revealed,
Do not struggle,
They will unfold effortlessly,
Because such is life.

I really wish I could write a sensible article,
One that someone could relate to,
One that someone could refer to later,
But some wishes remain just that,
Because such is life.

This post is just an explanation of insomnia,
Because it really doesn’t mean nothing.
And who walks in the dark anyway?People just sleep.

PS:Sorry for a meaningless post *wink